In my last post on "why do I need heart healing" I asked us to agree with the idea that we have all been wounded. I said I would talk more about that later. So I guess this is later.

How do I know that I'm wounded?
Because the Scriptures say so.

Isaiah 1:6: festering wounds, unhealed, not pressed out

Isaiah 61: Jesus said he came to heal the broken hearted

1 Peter 4:12-13 Dear friends, don't be surprised by the fiery trials you are going through

Romans 5:3-4 Suffering leads to perseverance.

The Bible is full of places where we are told that we would be "hurt." And believing that the Word was spoken to me and applies to my life, then, on some level, I must also believe that I have been hurt.

How do I know that I'm wounded?
Because my actions/inactions/reactions say so.

It's one thing to have righteous indignation, and it's another thing to just flip tables. It's one thing to “be still, and know that I am God,” and it's another thing to avoid people, hide from people, just not really "be into" people. It's one thing to be convicted by the Pastor's message on Sunday, it's another thing to up and leave the church because he was so condemning.  

Think about having a broken arm that has not yet been set and casted. We would all say that is "a wound." Now say somebody unsuspectingly walks along to say “hi” to you, and grabs that broken arm. Your reaction might include stepping back, pushing them away, perhaps some yelling, or even cussing. The same response can happen when we have unhealed hurts in our heart.  

One day I was driving in Miami, with my daughter in her carseat in our minivan in heavy traffic.  She was playing with a noisy toy, and in a flash of anger, I grabbed the toy and threw it out the window!  So the wound of “people driving unsafely (cutting me off)” resulted in my overreaction of cussing at the driver and throwing my child’s toy out the window.  To which my toddler, who recognized my wound and judgment, said, “Mom, do you want to confess that judgment now or later?”  And she prayed me through the wound and judgment right there in traffic! 

How do I know that I'm wounded?
Because my words say so.

So this one may hit a little close to home. That old adage, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" that mom taught us to say when a bully at school said something mean to us didn't really work. I bet right now, you can think of someone who said something to you that stung.  Maybe that was last week… Maybe that was 50 years ago. But our heart holds onto that hurt. And then remember that scripture that says "out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks?"  Often our words, what we say, and how we say it, can show us that there are hurts in our heart. Have you yelled at a loved one out of frustration or maybe fear? Have you spoken limiting beliefs (Death) over yourself, instead of speaking life and hope and truth?  Is sarcasm one of the hallmarks that people see in you?  Would people describe those "jokes" as jabs and pokes that sting?  Would others describe you as "always angry" whether you are or not. Does there seem to be that edge in your tone of voice?  

How do I know that I'm wounded?
Because I have blindspots.

Now this one can be a little tricky because, if we have blindspots, we can't see them! That is the nature of a blindspot. But if we're willing, we can see patterns. And if we're willing, we can let others speak into our lives about those blindspots. For example, have you ever found yourself In a situation that is ending up just as poorly as it did last time? Have you found yourself wanting to get out of that situation, but you just can't figure out how. If you're honest with yourself, can you think of a time when others suggested to "do it another way" but you stood your ground, stubbornly, and came out with the same unproductive/failed outcome as before? When we have hurts that are not healed, to protect ourselves we harden our hearts.  Those hardened places, those walls, hide us from the truth, hide us from God's answers.  We just can't see a way out. We just can't see the answer that seems to be staring us in the face.  Can you relate to having blindspots in your life?

Heart healing is not about finding blame (in the person who “broke your arm”, or the one who “touched it”, or the one who said mean and hateful things, who lied to you or about you, or the one who made you so angry) or digging up old hurts. But it is about being willing to ask the Lord to "create a clean heart in me. Oh God" (Psalms 51:10).  

So What Now?

As you begin the journey of heart healing, spend some time with Holy Spirit and ask Him to show you your actions/inactions/reactions that are indications of unhealed wounds.  Ask Him to help you recognize when the words that you speak relate back to hurtful words spoken to you or when your words cause harm to others. Ask Him to show you where the anger comes from. Ask Him to open your eyes to the blindspots.

And then write these things down. Bring them to your individual or group session so that healing prayers can be prayed to bring freedom to your life. A freedom that will last!